Public places, bathhouses and the internet
Does it turn you on to fuck in public places like bathrooms, parks and parking lots? If you have anal sex in public places, don’t forget condoms and lube.
Giving a blow job or masturbating a guy in a movie theatre present a low risk of HIV infection. However, the risk of other STBBIs, such as gonorrhea or chlamydia, is present if you suck someone off without a condom.
Even if it’s hot for you, having sex in public is against the law. You could be arrested by the police for public indecency.
Some people, in bathrooms and parks, may take the opportunity to steal your money or your keys. Here are a few tips for protecting yourself and your personal effects:
- Avoid carrying too much money on you or bringing your credit cards.
- Never leave your keys out of sight. Keep them in a closed pocket or in your hand (one you’re not using!).
- Try to also keep an eye on your clothes. Getting caught naked or leaving without your clothes could be embarrassing.
or more information, contact the community HIV organization closest to you.
If you’re a trans man, Check out
- the Guide HoT, a tool for trans men and transmasculine people in Québec who have sexual or romantic relationships with other men (gay or bi). Created by the organization RÉZO (In French only).
- the PRIMED2 guide, made in Ontario for trans men who love men.
You can also contact ASTTeQ, Action Santé Travesti(e)s & Transexuel(le)s du Québec or RÉZO (site in French only but services are offering in English)
Some guys hit the bathhouses, or saunas, in search of sex.
You can rent a locker there to leave your personal effects. Some guys walk around naked or with a towel around their waist, while others wear accessories, such as chest harnesses.
Check out the prevention strategies section to learn about various methods for reducing your risk of infection, and choose the ones that work best for you in the context of sex that’s often anonymous.
If you take drugs, be aware that they affect your judgement. For example, you might misjudge the risk of HIV transmission, or you might not feel pain.
- Imagine ahead of time what situations may come up. For example, what if a guy wants to fuck without a condom?
- Consider what methods you can put in place to have safer sex even if you get high at the bathhouse.
Thinking about these things ahead of time can help the right reflexes kick in when you’re in the moment.
Meeting guys online
Guys sometimes use hookup sites and apps to meet other guys for sex.
In general, the guys’ ads and profiles are pretty clear about what they’re seeking. Take the opportunity to ask questions. When you exchange a few messages, you can specify what you like, your limits and your preferred strategies for reducing the risk of infection.
Get prepared for your in-person meeting. For example, have condoms and lube handy, or make sure you’ve taken your PrEP doses. You may want to keep talking in person before getting to the action. For example, if the guy is HIV-positive, talk about viral load. Think about how to welcome the guy if he’s coming to your place. Set up the right conditions so you can feel comfortable. It will be more fun for you and your partner if you’re feeling good.
Regardless of how many guys you hook up with, it’s recommended that you get tested regularly.
Guys often use abbreviations online to indicate their preferences. For example, when it comes to having sex while high, is indicated by PnP party and play or 420 smoking pot. Sex without condoms is discussed with the terms bareback, BB, raw and natural.